Father I Turn to You (by Jahaziel)

LYRICS: See, I remember back then back when I was lacking in understanding. Gospel rapping, but words and actions just weren’t matching. Knowledge I was lacking. Weak defence had me entangled and trapped in the sins I preached against. Guilt complex is my recompense. I’m sliding! Why don’t I just speak to my friends instead of hiding? Told the whole clan the old man died in baptism. Who was I kidding? Fact is that I was backsliden. Lacking vision with my candle hidden under covers. I’m only on evangelism when I’m with my brothers. Secret lovers with the devils old lies. Denied the most high. To scared to break the soul-tied, so I continued doing shows and tours. Hope nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Surrounded by so-called friends, which one should I call on? Trying to tell them I was alright, but I was all wrong.

Lord, hear me please? Renew a right spirit within me.

Lord clean my heart, make me whole, cover me.

Lord, don’t even leave, won’t you please have mercy on me?

Heal my mind, set me free, Father I turn to you.

See, I was blaming Satan and the world for my spiritual state of health till I checked out flesh in the mirror and spelt “S.E.L.F” as the prime suspect and culprit. Preaching from the highest pulpit but in the prayer room I’m claustrophobic. I know its deep, I know I’m weak, you know me forever gossiping but when its time for witnessing I’m slow to speak. When its time to pray, I go to sleep. Time to fast, I go and eat. Time to stand and praise, I’d rather hold a seat. Back row, act low, hoping nobody notice me cause it ain’t hard to see I’m not what I’m supposed to be. But I don’t want to hear no lecture cause all I’ve got is peer pressure messing with my head like a hair dresser – its stressing me out! Doubt and fear had me in Trafalgar Square nearly drowning in beer. Loud and clear I need to change, but I didn’t know how thinking “maybe they’d be safety in the marital vows.” Thought that I could make a fresh start, all I did was break a fresh heart. We’re like vampires when it gets dark. My problems need to be solved and I’d be just a fool to get another involved. I need to make a resolve. Either be HOT or be COLD. Revelation 3:16 has got to be told; “Lukewarmness is going to be puked from the Lord’s mouth.” I read the chapter and knew I had to choose now. My head bowed as mad tears fell to the ground thinking of days when I was proud to be called God’s child. Now its all wild! I’ve been living foul. I want to turn around and live a lifestyle to make Christ smile. For too long I’ve been missing my place, dissing His grace and every time I sin it’s like I spit in his face. Time for living by faith, time for giving Him praise, time to fall prostrate on my face no time to waste and sing:

Lord, hear me please? Renew a right spirit within me.

Lord clean my heart, make me whole, cover me.

Lord, don’t even leave, won’t you please have mercy on me?

Heal my mind, set me free, Father I turn to you.

When I prayed that prayer sincerely, its like the Lord just answered me back and he spoke to my heart and this is what he said to me:

He said “Turn to me and live eternally, I know you don’t deserve to be blessed but yet mercifully I’m putting your sin on my son up on the cross, I promise you my best you’ve just got to give me yours.”